The workplace is the domain of extroverts – open plan offices, wall to wall meetings, networking, presentations, sales, brainstorming, and collaboration. Reinforced by the endless background prattle from self-help gurus.
As a battle-scarred and still geeky introvert, I recently had an enjoyable mentoring session with an introverted graduate new joiner. They were struggling with the relentless stimulation in the work-place – the need to be with people and the need to speak up were driving the feeling that they were melting into the background.
That conversation made me reflect on my development journey over 30+ working years and the guidance I’ve received from mentors. What follows is, with the wisdom of hindsight, the advice I wish I was able to tell my 20-year-old self with the hope it offers food for thought for some other introverts.
1) Your Magic Weapon is Attention: Your biggest strength is your attention. Standing back, observing, listening, and reflecting enables you to build deep insight into the problem at hand. It allows you to get to the essence of problems, spot patterns, identify trends, and ensures that judgment is typically on point. Have confidence it.
2) Your Geekiness is a Comfort Blanket: Your deep expertise is a differentiator and, it ensures your advice is trusted. Expertise is a double-edged sword. You need to guard against being too narrow in your specialism and hiding until you feel it’s the exact moment for your expertise shine. Plot a progressively broadening career path that builds from your geekiness, and the fulfils your dreams and potential.
3) Trust Your Intuition: In meetings waiting until you have mulled something over for so long that you are certain you have the best answer is a disaster. The extroverts have filled any break in the noise and the conversation has moved on. Trust your intuition - your ideas are as sensible as anyone else’s. Make that leap and speak truthfully from your head and heart.
4) Be Sociable Enough: Organizations are social environments. Don’t fool yourself into believing that performance and promotion decisions are objective and based just on your technical prowess. Relationships and “fitting in” are important. Learn to feel more comfortable building relationships and being impactful when the situation requires. Practice chatting to strangers in zero cost environments (a shout-out to London’s cab drivers for their support), focus a handful of people at networking events and, and volunteer to give talks in small groups and then larger ones. In parallel, prioritise building deep relationships with the colleagues and stakeholders that are important to you in work.
Remember, that strong writing skills, and social media are your best friend. They are low cost for introverts – use them but don’t abuse them as part of your connection strategy.
5) Take to the Hills or Take a Bath: If you are being as extrovert as you can manage then work will be exhausting. Find the solitude to recharge. Your health and well-being are important. Solitude can be anything that gives you space from people. Don’t worry about missing out or feel bad about turning down unnecessary social engagements. It’s in quiet moments that you are most stimulated and do your best thinking -Insight, creativity and wisdom don’t necessarily come from group torture sessions.
Organizations need the difference that the populations 50% of introverts bring - we are a significant part of the customer base, we make great leaders, have deep expertise, and at our best offer deep wisdom. One the other hand, organizations are social structures and are propelled by the social energy of extroverts - this means that introverts must adapt a little to reach their full potential in a hostile environment.
One final thought to extroverted leaders- take some more time to reach out to the quieter members of your team one on one and in meetings. I know you will be surprised by the treasures you uncover!
Us introverts come in different flavours. I hope that my personal reflections offer some food for some aspiring introverts. Perhaps, you have better guidance than me. Comments welcome.